Confessions Of A Multifunction Laser Printer Owner
I own a Hewlett-Packard Officejet 4300 series multifunction laser printer. It can copy, print, fax and slice tomatoes. At least, I think it slices tomatoes. I’m not too sure. When I’ve decided that the time has come to put my multifunction laser printer out to pasture, I’ll send a cherry tomato through the Scan function and see what happens. And that’s my first confession. My HP multifunction laser printer is in the prime of its life and I’m already thinking about throwing a wake for it.
I Haven’t Used The Fax Yet
I’m not going to tell you how long I’ve had my printer, but I will tell you that it is the best laser printer I’ve ever come across in my life. However, as the subheading shows, I have yet to figure out how to use the fax machine function. Not that I really want to ever use a fax machine, but my Dad wants me to.
Let me explain. Dad is the one who bought the multifunction laser printer for me one Christmas. He graciously dipped into his own wallet to buy me a multifunction laser printer for my home business that he will never use. This is a really big toy and the odds of me ever letting him touch it are astronomically slim. My Dad is the world’s best Dad, but he doesn’t get along well with anything that has buttons.
I happen to not like fax machines. They sit there and blink at me and spit out spax (spam fax). It’s hard not to take it personally. So, I am determined to never use the fax function in my multifunction laser printer, even though my Dad paid for this function. I’m thinking of telling him I use it even though I don’t. It’s not exactly lying – it’s more of a shareholder appeasement speech.
Where Does The Ink Go?
99% of my multifunctional laser printer actions are for business and charity purposes. The other 1% is for printing out huge pictures of Peter Gabriel that no one will ever see but me. Sometimes I use the pictures as book marks, sometimes I tape them up to the wall and sometimes I cut them out and stick them in a photo album.
However, about 99% of the ink of my multifunctional laser printer goes to these Peter Gabriel pictures instead of the 99% of the things that I’m supposed to be doing to keep a house to hang Peter Gabriel pictures in. This is what keeps me from stark raving mad. That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it.
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